A strange feeling has grabbed me..it's not that usual sense of weirdess or loneliness...
It feels that a weight of something is pulling me down...don't know what it is...it's a uncanny feeling of not getting what i want,,,not getting where i want to...as if I'm going absolutely nowhere like a rudderless boat... and will finally end up in a noman's land or will disappear mysteriously somewhere in the waves of time...it's not the career which bothers me...actually nothing bothers...bt still everything does...i smile just for the sake of it....cry without reason....hit myself with a pillow....
my friend says,"An idle brain is a devil's workshop....Wy don't you involve yourself into something constructive....!!!???"Bt I'm not idle....have a whole lot of 5000 pages of six books to study...while exams are just around the corner... minors and vivas are going on ( don't have to study for them..there are 100 ways to get through if you are technologically sound...)...Somehow the feeling "Engineering SuXS!!" has started to creep in...
may be it's due to a pschological disorder(i get fits of this kind of attitde now and then...when I wish that it could be a utopian feeling forever) or ma be it's a result of the sickness I've ust come out of(was not the famous FLu...just a viral infection)...
I'm so random that without a reason or rhyme..a random feeling creeps inside me...and that too at the wrong time...and i further take wrong amount of time to come out of it... end up regretting about my behaviour(behaviour of a temporary crybaby)...hopelessly hopeless!!!
whatever it is...I'm going out of my senses now...and typing anything and everything I'm feeling like..Don't know whether it made sense...don't want to check for it either...All I know right now is that I need a long break...break from the whole monotony of this life...a break from social bindings....a break from so many things that are bugging me now....D
Peace!!
P.S. Forgive me if I bugged you...but I desperately needed to type this...Ad afterall it's my blog...I can and will write whatever I wish to... I did absolutely the same...yay!!
bt yea like good and bad dwell together...there is a brighter side too...my mother,granny ad friends are the sunshine in my life...the way they took care of me...man i won't ever be able to pay back...can anyone do :)
19 comments:
We think we need so many useless things when all we really need is time to breathe :)
what we have is enough for our lives but obviously human nature.
I wont ask you to stop writing what you did. You gotta let it out of your system. You arent out of your senses, when you are out of your senses, you dont write, you eat poison :)
hugs
@AD:it's jst a phase..i noe...This too shall pass....
hope keeps me alive!!
At times it happens dear, we feel exreamly low for no reason and we cry,we smile with out making any sense. I can understand ur felings, because i too passed through it many a times...Its ManyA Times..u underline it..
Every time, i felt i would not be coming out of it, but every time i coul dget throgh, and get throight it with a real punch. You too will get the same, just dont loose hope..
It happens, it surely happens with all..you are an excepton. and every one come out of it, you are nothing less than them. U can do it..
me suggession is: Dont feel low and sit ideally. Have 100s of works at hand, and analyze how u would do them, ur attitude towards them ur patince levels, ur respnse to others..etc. because u may get this stage again in ur life some time latre, then u may be required by many people, ur love can sooth many people. If u go out of ur senses, ur attitude, ur behavior shall not hurt them. so this is the best chance to analyze urself..take it positively, and u can achieve it ...
Be happy..
Pramoda
looks like fever has taken his toll...these thoughts are most probably due to you being bedridden for a day or two...
and about that exams things you already know there is nothing in engineering that cant be done...reading 5000 pages is just another activity which u will be able to accomplish...you shudnt feel low about it..
and ya its better to let these feeling out than in... :).instead of thinking keep urself occupied in other things.keep writing and keep smiling
u have the answer yourself... THIS TOO SHALL PASS>. and believe me.u have NO disorder, u r an absolutely normal engineer-in-the-making :P
haha...engineerin sux big time...
not only durin the xams...khe khe khe...
al the best anyway for ur exams...
n yea this is ur blog...u can write wateva u want.. ;)
every1 does... :D
haf fun
Anoop
"I will disappear mysteriously somewhere in the waves of time.."
I dun agree wid dat....u wont disappear..u disappearin these days...coz of u zero size aproach....u r on d verge of gttin extinct.....
jahan tk rahi engg ki baat to wo bhi char nahi to paanch saal me pakka ho jaegi....agar hamare hods ne aur hamare grayeen...chaheete batchmates ki kripa rahi to....
God bless u/...u'll overcome this phase soon...
@Pramoda:well gal...seems like u've been thru it....yea tryin to adopt this measure...keepin myself busy...only thn cn i make it...
@Skwalker:seems like it has....bt i'll make outta it soon...
@G:gosh..thnks.....where hav u been???
@Anoop:yea..boy..it does....u an enngg too kya?
@Sukriti:bachoo...dun worry mai disappear hoti nai....atleast zero size to nai hi hongi... haan engg ke liye hope to kayam hai..ki shayad...sirf shayad 4 a 4.5 yrs me ho jae....
Man! We all have those days huh? Where I come from, It's called Monday! hahah!
:)
This is the first time I'm commenting on someone's post twice, so you can consider yourself lucky :P
1st things 1st Engineering was one thing I always wanted to, but didn't coz I had too high standards for myself, and after not getting admissions in those 'premier-league' colleges, decided against the thought and went for a B.com followed by an MBA ! Trust me on this, the day you're blessed with the much coveted engineering degree .. engineering won't suck as much ;)
And Miss crybaby about the hopelessness feeling, it's just part of one's life .. ever wondered we would have been so bored with it, if was all happy and achievable ! :)
A nice advice for you .. go for punch-boxing or rather hit some of your good friends (by GOOD, I meant who won't hit u back) .. and feel the easing of nerve :D
I'm sure my lecture was good enough ! keep writing and crying and laughing and living your life ! :)
Sourav...in love with me and life
P.S. Thank me by being REALLY regular to my posts and commenting as soon they are out ! :D
@sourav:Omg!!!m feeling so damn lucky!!well thnks u r someone whos really regular to ma blog...n yea i wud surely thank u wen d tym cmz appropriately...wen u update tat is!!
heyy dear!I had left a comment earlier but dont know why it was not published anyways .Donot feel bad,GCET discourages you at times but do remember that it is upto you to make your time meaningful there.So enjoy each moment ,ask me this time is not gonna come back.
@happybirdie:yup yup..yahi to hai gcet...first day se hi depress kar raha hai....its gonna gt worse nw...wil have to adjust myself...:)
Similar things happenin here :(
@Rahil:dun worry...all will b fine soon...
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