Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Lately I've spent a lot of time alone with myself letting a whole cloud of thoughts in my mind free. The burden hasn't lessened though since pending decisions-to-be-taken-sooner-than-later still knock the back of my head(Knock-Knock!!"Hamaara no. kab aaega?," they keep spluttering) and musing under these circumstances ain't that easy, after all!
Right from the first step of our life, we are confronted by choices to make and our Mama teaches us, "Baby, take the bull by the horns!"signaling, "Bachoo, Is duniya me aa to gaye but the road to follow ain't that smooth..There are BULLS to grapple with."For example, 'Padho, Dhoop me khelo matt'Bull, 'Boards Hain, Time waste matt karo'Bull, 'Coachings-Abhi Acche se pad le, life set ho jaegi!'Bull(Inki to books pe bhi likha hota hai'Hit the Bull's eye!), 'Entrance exam'Bull, phir 'CAT/MAT/RAT'Bull and pata nahi koun-koun se Bull!!Coming back to choices or precisely speaking, decision-making, it is an art to be mastered, lack of which can lead to chosen roads guiding you to dead-ends, the gifts of life( very much chosen by you) unravelling into bombshells, doors chosen by you leading to dark and dingy corridors.That's the power I'm talking about.
Who has never been on cross-roads where only one road can be travelled by a lonely traveller(That reminds me of the poem 'The Road Not Taken') and at these crucial times, you can't do with 'choosing a finger' or 'inky-pinky-ponky'.The time demands you to take a stand and decision-making comes into play, which I consider as one of the most tedious tasks in the world. Hitherto I've never really taken decisions by measuring the pros and cons of the situation, just followed my heart or like I believe, my subconscious mind does the work for me because it knows its dilly-dallyer owner.Be it my career plans, my personal decisions or whatever, the same procedure is followed. Like my grandfather puts it, "You play with your life." Yeah, I almost did. Know those ultra-smart kids who are asked, "Bade hoke kya banoge?" and comes a spontaneous reply,"Doctor!" That's me...was me! And having taken PCMB, two options popped up once I had appeared for all sorts of entrances, the obvious 'Doctor' or 'Engineer'.And to everyone's surprise or rather shock, I chose to become an engineer because I found it more lucrative, more exciting and the future appeared more promising.Ask me now how lucrative, exciting and promising it is?:(
I always make a jackass of myself when it comes to taking decisions.And now when a bigger one awaits, I'm all jittery and tense. Doesn't it need a hell lot of courage to decide and come to a conclusion? However chicken-hearted you are, for how long can someone while away time waiting on the doors that promise a better tomorrow? You have to tread a step forward and knock on the door. Otherwise the reticence may be misunderstood as denial. And once you deny that opportunity, you may never even get to make that choice again or fate may not ever present that door to you which could have opened a new vista for you.
After so much of 'putting off until tomorrow' it's time to put two and two together!:)